The reason for my long absence

Sorry I was gone for so long. I was away in February – melepek at home due to lots and lots of vomiting. Had several episodes of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG). It came as quite a surprise, really. I mean, I have been warned about feeling nauseous and all, but since I have been quite fit prior to my pregnancy I thought I could handle it. Yeah, right. I learned that while it’s not entirely my fault, whether or not I vomit is beyond my control. Besides, while nausea and vomit may be common in pregnancy, HG is something more, which only occurs in 0.5-10 cases per 1000 pregnancies. The fact that my biological mother had history of severe vomiting did not make things any better, it could be in the genes. I became so sensitive that anything and everything could cause vomiting. A heightened sense of smell meant I could not be in the kitchen during breakfast in the presence of Ayah’s steaming hot mug of Nescafe or while Mak cooked, my husband had to switch to another perfume, and certain brand of car perfumes were simply intolerable. Sensitivity to motion meant not only I could not drive, but also no long journey for me. Daily trip from Seremban to Putrajaya meant early morning run to the toilet after I clocked in and even a short trip from PJ to Putrajaya was enough to make me vomit. I vomited whether or not I consumed anything. If I eat something and I would be vomiting it later, otherwise I would still vomit some yellowish gooey. I could not tolerate food or fluid orally for long. Not even when I consumed what used to be my favourite food – sushi, cheese sandwich, even fruits. As a result of my inability to eat or drink, I think I have become more sympathetic towards anorexics. I still feel nauseous from time to time now, but during the few weeks of HG peak incidence, it was something else. No, asam (sour stuff) did not help with lessening the nausea. Nor did minyak cap kapak. In fact, the faintest smell of minyak cap kapak could send me running to the toilet. I could only stand the smell of Vick’s Vaporub if I needed ointment of some kind. At least now I can lessen the nausea simply by taking Nicolet nutmeg candy. By the end of my 10th week, I’d lost 9kg compared to my pre-pregnancy weight - about 15% weight loss. My blood pressure was all-time low - once the reading showed 89/53. I’d been treated with a total of 14 bottles of drip – 9 bottles of Hartmann’s Solution during my first treatment at Hospital Seremban, 2 bottles of normal saline 2 weeks later and 3 bottles of Hartmann’s Solution the following week. I had also been prescribed with Maxilon (Metoclopramide, a.k.a. Reglan), to be taken no more than three 10mg pills a day. (Later, I found out that despite it being more effective than most older medications, there could be a lot of side effects of taking this ‘safe-for-pregnant-mother-drug). Still, I guess the risk of treating with drugs that are most effective is often less risky than not treating at all since I have been told that dehydration and malnutrition worsen HG symptoms and can adversely affect the baby. Alhamdulillah, in my case, my baby's progress was not adversely affected. The doctor at PPUM who attended to me during my third visit to the emergency room was kind enough to give me a copy of my baby's ultra-sound scan picture and just looking at the black-and-white image of the forming head, hands and legs were enough to make me forget all the vomiting I'd gone through for him (ok, it's wishful thinking, we won't be able to tell the gender of the baby until after a month or two) Alhamdulillah, I have a very supportive family during the incidence. I moved temporarily back to my parents’ place in PJ after I was discharged from Hospital Seremban. Ayah and Mak took the Komuter to Seremban, to pick me up and drove me back to PJ using my car. Still, both Mak and my mother-in-law tried their best to oblige whenever I fancied eating anything – be it rice porridge, sambal bilis kering, terung bakar, pucuk ubi, daun turi or anything. Mak noticed how I only took my (daily half scoop of) rice steaming hot and must always be accompanied by really hot sambal and commented that my child will probably be like her who likes hot stuff. I must admit that while I could normally tolerate hot food, lately, I’ve grown to like cili api more. Anyway, I depended more on bananas instead of rice during those few weeks and Ayah always made sure we had steady supply of those. I’m thankful to have supportive friends too, who kept calling and sending SMS from time to time to check on me. The thing about HG, usually only those who have had it could truly understand how miserable and exhausting it could be. My body would ask me to just lay down and do nothing to fight the nausea as I've learned by experience that being active could only worsen the symptoms. So, even when friends called me at 12 p.m., I would normally still be in bed, but having friends checking up, showing their care and concern helped cheering me up a bit and made me felt better – emotionally at least, if not physically. And that made a whole lot of difference. In a way I’m also thankful that I went through such period. I was unable to go to work for a month because I was very weak and in a constant state of dizziness, but sometimes, when it wasn’t so bad, I could read the Quran and recite some zikr. In a way, the incidence gave me an opportunity to remember Allah more. And my short stay in the O&G ward gave me a reason to be more positive about my condition – it might be bad for me, but others are facing worse conditions. And so I count my blessings.